I don’t know why I came up with these thought. Part of me wants you to disappear, not talk to you and all. Another part of me disapproves that.
Then I asked myself why?
Why do I have this feeling?
Do I like you romantically?
My immediate answer is no.
Do I hate you? I doubt that
Then this thought crossed my mind. Maybe in the middle
I like your being and hate you at the same time.
Why?
You’re my opposite
You love life the same way I hate it.
You like people the same intensity I have loathing them.
You lived in the real dimension while I on the other hand wished to create a fake one. A fictional one.
You have concrete goals while I’m barely handling my thoughts.
You’re making me bring back the emotions I lost months ago.
I’m becoming good, is that better? No.
Not you
Not now.
So it all started when our Province host an event called Arawatan. My friend called me if I want to took part on the short film event on which he will be the director. Well ofcourse, since I’ve been a home prisoner for 3 months that time (because of covid-19), I said yes.
All went well on the first day, then the second day came. This friend of mine invited a videographer to level up our game. So yep, video here, video there. He’s good really for his age. He’s 18. Not tall, not physically fit but has this brilliant aura lingering him. He’s a good conversation maker too. Very professional.
During our shoot, rain is pouring continuously so I have to cover them and the camera with an umbrella (well, yeah ofc). I started noticing his reactions, his unapproved look with the outcome of the shoot, like he wants more. His creased forehead when his angle is not good enough. His knowingly look like a proud father of his camera. So much things go notice. Maybe he’s that open or I’m that observant. Either way, he’s being a lil jerk for teasing me about my look. Too young to be an Engineering graduate, he said. Well I’m 21 who looks like a 16 year old teen with 5 years of experience.
That night, we, together with the team ate at a friends house. Being one of the eldest in the team, I volunteered myself to cook.
Well I know how to cook, a bit hehe. So the story goes how I cooked and how this videographer helped me in the process (well, mostly by tasting it since the other guys werw all bisy playing mobile legends).
That’s when things started. How we became friends and how he played a big part of my mental issues, how he helped me change it.
Phl Works 